IOOK Health Issues

posted 8/30/10


The IOOK Technology Center diverted some of its earnings to do research in the medical field.

The impetus for this research was the expanding girth of the IOOK Vice Presidents. Concern was expressed regarding the potential impact of this situation upon the longevity of the VPs.

To do the research, the Technology Center invited world famous Chinese Doctor Belly Fat Hong to look into the impact of the IOOK VP diet upon the health of the VPs.

Below is the result of his day long research.  Obviously, IOOK VPs have nothing to fear of the dietary impact of their eating habits.

73 de NN3V

Director, IOOK Technology Center






Outstanding physician
Dr Belly Fat Hong

Q: Doctor,  I've heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true? 
Your heart only good for so many beats, and thats  it...don't waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? 
You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay and corn.  And what are these?   Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?  
No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!
Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat ratio? 
Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? 
Can't think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain...good!         
Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?  
YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it. 

How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?  
Q:  Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? 
Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. 
Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?  
Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!
Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?  
If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?  
Hey!  'Round' a shape! 
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And  remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"
For  those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional  studies. 
The Japanese eat very little fat
       And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
       And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
The Chinese drink very little red wine
       And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
       And suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of  sausages and fats 
       And suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.