Hacker Barbie

de NN3V - posted 8/31/08


The IOOK Technology Center is pleased to announce the release of a new product designed to eradicate stereotypes associated with blondes and the softer members of the population. This new product line will be introduced as the

Hacker Barbie Doll Series.

The idea for the product line arose while IOOK Tech Center VP NN3V attended the 2008 ComiCon convention held at the San Diego Convention center in July 2008.

These dolls will be released in time for the 2008 Christmas shopping season. The aim of these dolls is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged. This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.

The Barbie clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with lenses thick enough to set ants on fire. (Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional.). Pocket protectors are believed to be a must for IOOK VPs who consider giving these to their "significant others".

The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at a computer  monitor  without blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 16 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "What's your Internet address?", "I like TCP/IP!", "Bummer! Your kernel must have gotten trashed," "Can't you grep that file?", "The frequency's in use Old Man", and "DEC's Alpha AXP is awesome!"

"We are very excited about this product," said Loyd Davis (K8EI) IOOK Tech Center AVP, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." (A year ago, Mattel released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with a condescending companion Ken.)

The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent management consultant expert who frequently asks Barbie for help. As a true expert, he has been confirmed to be a has been who squirts under pressure.

In trail uses, parents, expressed some concern that they will fall behind the children technologically when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny played with the prototype Hacker Barbie for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of rural Podunk West Virginia, "and now she pays my credit card bill online. Got no idea how she does it, but she surely does it. I just don't wanna be looked upon as some dumb mama."

The IOOK Technology Center will be offering free on-line training courses for parents who purchase the Hacker Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an introduction to expository writing.

Several price ranges are under consideration for the introductory offers. They will depend on the operating system chosen by the buyer. A DOS operating doll will be free. Other prices range from $12.95 for the Windows 95 version through $100.00 for the Vista version. The IOOK Technology Center indicated that since the doll is intended for use by REAL computer enthusiasts,, MAC versions will not be produced.


73 de NN3V -.-